Blog post No 4. Car journeys.

Hello

It's me again!

Today I am going to tell you all about our car journeys.

I do love a good car ride.

I admit to becoming quite excited.

First thing to do when you go on a car journey is to decide where you want to sit.

My personal choice would be the front seat next to my chauffeur.

Sadly I am not allowed to sit there.

Nothing stops me from trying out all the other seats though before we leave.

Should I sit on the nearside of the car or the offside?

It is important to sit where you feel the most comfortable .

Once we have all decided where we are going to sit and are safely strapped in,  having had several false starts trying to leave the drive because someone has forgotten something, the fun really starts for me.

The journey.

The staff have a voice locked away inside the dashboard of my transport and it tells them which route to take on our journey. It's quite clever really until it gets thoroughly confused because the staff ignore it!

It is quite a posh female voice and is rather pleasant to listen to for the first part of the journey.

After a few miles, when the staff decide they don't want to go on the scenic route she has chosen and would prefer the boring main road route instead, all we hear is ...

Take the next left.

Then turn left and then left again.

Or when she gets fed up with saying that, we have to listen to...

Turn around, turn around.

Even my little Wirey, woolly brain tells me we must be going round in circles at this point!

I do become rather exasperated and enjoy joining in the general mayhem of noise.... with the staff telling the voice inside the dashboard to stop talking. 

When we finally all agree on the route we will be taking, the nice lady inside the dashboard does settle down and snoozes until we have to turn off the road we are on and join a new one.

Then she comes into her own again and repeats absolutely everything.... twice!

And if you get it wrong  there is no stopping her!

Just to make sure my staff actually understand her instructions I add my tuppence worth to the proceedings  and bark out the directions.

This does not appear to go down too well with them.

I am always a little confused as to why we are all sat in the car having an argument with an invisible lady in the dashboard of MY transport..... when it would be so much easier if they just switched her off and picked up the road map that sits on the floor next to me.

But at least I have the chance to have a jolly good bark.

Always happy to join in.

Barney.